There are no more Basilisks remaining on Azeroth. Sometime around 2:45 am late Saturday, Mrs. Mortigan hunted down the LAST SURVIVING BASILISK as it rested lazily near a small swampy pool, and Frostbolted it into extinction. Thus ended an entire species - and their bones will be dug up by apprentice archaeologists for generations. When studying them closely, they'll exclaim, "These bones have frost damage, too! I wonder what would've caused that? An Ice Age?" No. It was Mrs. Mortigan's Frostbolts.
Mrs. Mortigan has killed THOUSANDS of basilisks. One. At. A. Time. She doesn't group. She doesn't chat. She doesn't even use a proper spell rotation, and has only recently begun questing. For the most part, she has Basilisked her way to level 72. She plays a different game - one that's more relaxing, less stressful, and for her, FUN. Any attempts on Morty's part to "Up" her game are quickly shot down:
"Hey, let me show you a faster way to -"
"If you cast -"
"I know what I'm doing."
"Your DPS would be better if you -"
"I don't care."
She's picked up a few things that she finds useful. She keeps her Water Elemental out. She casts Mirror Image a lot - so that multiple version of her can all be spamming Frostbolt simultaneously. She cast a shield that seems to work pretty well. And overall, Azeroth is her playground. She OWNS it - perhaps much more than I do, because I'm always scraping away to get that better piece of gear, that Exalted Rep, that potion recipe I really, really need. I chase after things, while for her, the world patiently waits to be Frostbolted into oblivion at her whim. If I was a Frenzyheart in the Sholazar Basin, I'd be getting really nervous about now - especially since Mrs. Mortigan has her eyes on a Green Proto Drake, and she's ready to kill a nation of Frenzyheart - One. At. A. Time. - to get one.
An interesting side phenomenon is that Mrs. Mortigan has admirers. Or fans. Or something. I don't know WHAT to call them. I'll come home from work to find her twinked out in the best gear available for her level. "Where'd you get that?!" I'll ask. "Somebody gave it to me." She responds. "I was killing Basilisks and some guy came along and just said, 'HERE.'" Then I check her character a bit more closely and find more surprises. "Where did you get another 500 gold so quickly?" And very casually she answers, "Oh, someone else came along after the other guy and let me have it." And she's not even surprised. As if all the time people give away 500 gold at random for absolutely no reason. For Mrs. Mortigan, it DOES happen all the time. My secret theory is that people somehow figure out that she really IS female, and see that she plays the game differently and more simply - and they somehow become overwhelmed with compassion and start handing over BOE gear and piles of gold. No one ever gives MORTY any gold (unless you count that Chinese Farmer, but uh, we won't go into that right now).
For the longest time, I always thought that only Mrs. Mortigan was playing a different game. The rest of us were all on the same page. We were all grouping and raiding and auctioning and harvesting and having the same experience overall. But lately, living on PVP Daggerspine-US, I've come to see my own reflection more clearly, and I've realized that I'm playing a different game as well. I shape the game just as Mrs. Mortigan does, to suit my own personal tastes. I live to group - especially Heroics - where I feel challenged while remaining confident of winning. I like 10-man raids for much the same reason. 10-mans are small enough that I still feel like my performance MATTERS. I'll join a 25-man raid, but don't care for them as much. In a 25-man raid, all I'm really doing is shortening the fight by adding a bit of damage on top of the pile. Ultimately, my grouping is really nothing more than my personal version of Basilisk-killing. I'm doing what I like, and NOT doing the rest. I DON'T do PVP - I HATE IT. I mean REALLY HATE IT. Maybe because I lose all the time. Maybe because those bastards that kill me laugh at me afterward. It's too much like high school, and reliving my high school days through the virtual eyes of Mortigan just isn't my cup of tea. Many people have told me I should do battlegrounds. I've never - NEVER - been on a battleground, and truthfully don't ever want to go. Even the lure of cool PVP gear is not enough to get me out of PVE mode.
And now my Guild (run by personal friends) has packed up and left Daggerspine-PVP for Korgath-PVP, and they've asked me to join them. I don't think I'm going. Oh, I'm packing up all right - to get the hell out of Daggerspine and away from the ganking bastards that frequently kill me there - but I won't be headed for Korgath, that's for dang sure. I'm headed back to a nice safe PVE server where I can raid, group, quest, and harvest in peace. Sorry, guild, I guess I'm playing a different game.
Mortigan the Immigrant